Life is designed to Grow you
I recently had the opportunity to honor my most cherished loved one— my baby boy, NAS.
I pressed my face to his and told him that he could finally rest now— he’d been hanging on, for me, and I was fully prepared to keep on fighting for him. but he was in a lot of pain, and yet he continued to wag his tail and give me kisses. I held him for a while before finally letting go.
while i’m familiar with death, and the ways in which it creeps up when we least expect it… or how it chips away slowly but diligently at the heart; i was not at all prepared. saying goodbye to NAS was nearly unendurable and i’m still in the thick of grieving.
there’d be studio days where NAS would often push his big body against my legs, and rest his head on my lap— his loving way of telling me to take a break. in the moment, i’d get a little frustrated at the sudden immobility; too caught up in creating. i’d work a little bit longer before we’d get ready to take a stroll in the neighborhood.
but now i stare at his empty bed… it’s positioned at the entrance of my studio. i stare at it and run through all the times i’d look back to see him staring at me. It’s all the little things that we easily take for granted— but cherish the most.
i’ve begun to settle into the emptiness. accepting that the love and space made for NAS, is not meant to be replaced or filled. I acknowledge this truth and honor what was by remaining grateful. I am actively choosing to use the word opportunity— because too often we’re not given the chance to say ‘goodbye.’ such a simple gesture, yet an impactful act of compassion and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
I recognize that I am in a season of real growth, the type of growth you cannot fathom but have been subconsciously preparing for. I am closing a significant chapter in my life, while grieving and beginning to embark on a whole new journey. all of these changes are coming to my aid; further aligning me with what’s been mine all along. J ALXNDRA LLC is now a legit small business. I owe it to NAS for pushing me to this point, for lovingly nudging me, for making space for me to take this dream to a reality.
Life is designed to grow you.
We have the power to determine, whether the unforeseeable events that often shape and direct our lives, are opportunities for growth or mere hinderances that hold you back. It is all in a matter of how you choose to perceive the world (so choose wisely). after all, you are the creator of your life.
in memory of the sweetest boyNAS
